Life, for one thing is not easy. It was not meant to be easy in the first place. But all the hardships and miseries we face make us stronger. That is what everyone says. Sometimes they break me apart, to the extent that I don’t care about coming back. That black void of beautiful darkness. Just leave me alone in there and I’ll be fine. I don’t want to face anyone. Not because I want to be alone and self synchronise, but more because I don’t want others to see that swollen face of mine. Why am I so conscious about that…. I don’t want to show them that weak and disdain notion of me. Does not matter what they’d think but they would configure me as being a person I’m not, those tears and broken pieces of my journey don’t define me. There’s more to it. That depth we always overlook is way more profound and lucid.
Are tears only contemplating fear, weariness, frailty and tapering off ? Isn’t it difficult to decipher all those emotions going around in our head? Why do all those emotions always end up with tears? I don’t want to see tears as a weakness! I think they’re rather that hidden tough amenity within us. You should never apologize for being sensitive and emotional, it’s a sign that you have a big heart, don’t be afraid of others to see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousands of tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, deep contrition and unspeakable love.~Washington Irwin
Our inner voice is always playing tricks on us, sometimes felicitous sometimes despondent and at times vex and chafing. It’s always curious. Like a little baby, crawling from one emotion to another, from one toy to another, playful at a moment and napping at another. Why do we tend to always believe and follow it? Whatever it tells you is seldom right. And the fact, that approximately one third of all thoughts we have per day are negative and repetitive can not be rolled out. While our thoughts cascade down the waterfall of our mind it can be pretty exigent to reach the shore. It isn’t always wrong either, but taking actions in a hurry and trusting those feelings might cost us big. Our conscious is unaware of our subconscious and vice-versa. We are unique beings and have a lone mind but it’s still not the same, it is accompanied by our conscious which bids to overpower us in assorted ways. Sometimes we just don’t know how to react to a certain situation. There can be so much going on in there at once and it is overwhelming.
How do I even know who am I ? Why am I the way I am? Why do I exist? Why should I continue to live? What matters the most in my life? Am I a human being or a human doing?
These were just a random set of thoughts…
4 thoughts on “Inner conscious …..”
That is why it’s better to just let go of everything sometimes, sit back talk to yourself, and then step back into reality with a blow. Silent tears are actually the loudest. The more one pretends to be strong, the more tears flow, it’s ok to struggle, that’s a part of life and changes are inevitable.
In the end spring will come one day, the ice will melt and flow away.
I resonate with the take on tears too. Tears are a symbol of you existing and feeling and you being. I find it so painful sometimes when keeping it all in , bottling up all the toxic thoughts and emotions are glorified ….to me it seems like a person deliberately poisoning themselves is being encouraged in the name of bravery…but poison kills , it doesn’t glorify.
I always find tears just as important as rain is..even nature tells us the necessity of them. Clouds cry to let flowers grow, to fill in life in the dry land, to give us bliss and a beautiful rainbow after they let go of all they had been carrying. Storms occur when they bottle all up for too long …the same as human mind.
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This is such a poignant meditation. Your thoughts on tears resonate with me as I’ve been struggling with several things that came to tears recently. It’s a paradox, how I recognize that they are helpful for emotional cleansing and balance and yet I still want to hide them in the dark, release them silently so no one can hear.
There were actually times and places where tears were not only accepted but encouraged. I remember once reading a tale from medieval Japan about a man who hid a bottle up his sleeve so he could fake the tears that showed a properly sensitive heart. He was exposed when someone put ink in the bottle and his face streaked with tell-tale marks.
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That’s such a beautiful story, I’m in awe right now. Brief yet containing a wholesome and deep intent. It’s ravishing to distinguish the reality sometimes, at least for me, both in a positive and negative aspect.
Also, I wanted to say that storms are a part of life but it can not rain forever, the sun will come out, brighter than ever and hail it’s grace upon us. I hope that you can combat all the challenges and bloom like never before 😊.
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