Coming to an end

A lot happened this year, world changing incidents that is. But in this post I am gonna share my experience of 2020.

A bitter-sweet year it had been. No not a balanced flavor at all . As bitter as bitter melon went the first half of the year. A nerve wrecking starting quarter due to boards (nightmarish high school exams in India feared by each 10th and 12th standard student), to a heart breaking loss of loved one. And of course the pandemic and prolonged lockdown in country, not meeting friends or even any other human except for my family ,all of it rubbing salt in the wounds. And as if all that wasn’t enough , I had this loong period of existential crisis , kind of total change to my life cause I finally fixed what I want to do in life (will tell ya once I achieve the goal) . But it was not the thing which I might have been preparing for like 2.5 years so ya it was a total nightmare to fix it, followed by a wave of relief (short lived, I think too much so that was quite a struggle). Studies are also a great pressure when you are in second last year of school and everything is online after you know we used to have IT practicals at school having written exam weightage! Well okay okay not being too dramatic. After this para of disaster lets move on to the nice parts.

Not exaggerating at all , but first four months were actually sh**y, except for brother returning from college (in another state) due to pandemic (I love my brother who is 5 year elder to me , a lot), and it was kinda surprise cause lockdown wasn’t imposed officially by then and my exams had just ended so I was over joyed when he knocked at the door one fine spring morning. And yesss! it was my nephew’s first birthday (cousin sister’s son, kinda youngest kid of family so is doted by all) on 22nd march for which we had many plans pre pandemic that is, but I still made a cute card for him (one of my best works I would call it) and it wasn’t that bad. They celebrated it at home nicely and we video called.

Okay nothing special for months. But ya a very positive thing happened which was that these few kids who had been classmates for years but we didn’t know much about each other (didn’t have many friends for past few years except Sakshi and Shweta , close one’s) . So we gotta know a lot more about people online than we could have ever in real life thanks to Whatsapp and other social media ( Social media is not as bad as the older generation thinks it is ). Now we are like the closest bunch and I personally wouldn’t want to delete 2020 after this. In July , board results were out and I had a really good percentage (top 3 in school) so everyone was happy. In the meanwhile I did a lot of painting and stuff( will put in on another post). In October, I came across a site with free books and well must have read almost 9 books in 2 months ( I was book starved , finished the books I had in march itself). I have read 13 books this year so far and would love to recommend them ( watch out for further posts). And then the best part of the year till now( drumroll). SO, taking all necessary precautions and the gathering limit in consideration my cousins wedding was held. He is a really close brother so I was super thrilled. We had to travel to other state by car ,a 12 hour ride(longest I ever sat in our car). It was awesome , all of it – journey, rituals, wedding and meeting people after 8 months. I created a handmade showpiece kind of gift for the couple (officially my best till now) and they were really happy.

And I got to visit my grandparent(maternal) which we had planned to do so in April but lockdown struck. So they are also real old and missed us a lot and were overjoyed (both of us) on meeting. You know how nani ka ghar in India is , fully pampered I am there. Love them a lot.

So , that was a hell of a year not so hellish towards the end (for me at least) . I bet all of us had this roller coaster in our lives. I thought it wouldn’t get any better at a point , was seriously defeated but then it worked out. I accept we can’t be positive at all times. It’s draining, and sometimes you just can’t see any kind of good side to things but the fact is, it all works out in the end. The wounds we think are never gonna heal, can still be there but no longer they influence us. The storm might destroy, all of it at times but it does stop and then you rebuild. 2020 might even be, I dare say the worst year in our lives but there must be at least 1 moment even more of them , when we had our families, when even after losing someone we were thankful we didn’t lose others, a moment which we won’t want to delete from our lives and that moment I believe was enough to live on, to not loose all hope yet.

At the end of this year I would just wish you all good health, happiness, love and most of all –hope, hope that however tough it gets , it works out in the end, it always does. Lets look forward to new beginnings, dump the pains, leave them behind, lets walk to the path of healing and welcome new year with hearts brimming with hope.